The Boy I Love
by Miss Gryffindor
Summary: This story is about the thoughts and reflections of a girl who has loved Harry Potter from afar (it's not Ginny, Hermione, Cho or Luna!). Reviews are very very welcome since this is my 1st english fic!
1. Chapter 1

The Boy I Love

I can't remember when I first heard about him. When you're born in a pure- blood family you know for sure you'll grow up listening to his name and his story. Especially if most of your relatives were murdered by He-Who-Must- Not-Be-Named. My mum told me all about Harry Potter and how he had defeat the Dark Lord before I was able to pronounce most words correctly. Every night when I was tuck in bed and my mum came to kiss me goodnight I would always ask her to tell me the story of "Hawy Potter". She never refused and always told the story the same way. In the end I'd fell asleep peacefully with a smile on my lips, feeling warm and safe because he would never let anything bad happen. A few years later when I was old enough to read by myself, I spent most of my free time searching for information about him in my house's library. I read all the books about him I could find in my home and then went to the city library to get more which means I knew everything about him. There was no picture of Harry Potter in none of those books and the only physical aspect that was mentioned was the thunderbolt shaped scar he had on his forehead. I used to imagine how he would look like... was he tall and blonde, with big blue eyes? Or perhaps he was skinny and short with dark hair and brown eyes... But that was just a detail, I knew I would like him no matter how he looked! After reading every single book, every single newspaper article and every single essay wrote about him, there were still some pieces missing in the puzzle that was Harry's life. For example, where was he right now? How was he? Was he aware of all his fame? I couldn't get my questions answered! Years went by but I never forgot the boy who had bring peace and hope to the wizardry world. I went on with my research though it was useless; there was nothing left to find out about Harry Potter and my questions remain unanswered, hided in a dark corner of my memory. At last my Hogwarts' letter arrived. I had just turned 11 a few days before and I had been waiting anxiously for the moment I would go to Hogwarts. Partly it was because I knew he was going to be there too. September 1st: Platform 9 ¾ is filled with students walking around with trolleys, saying goodbye to their families or simply chatting with friends. I was so excited and overwhelmed by this scenery that I completely forgot he was there as well. The Hogwarts Express was a huge train but it didn't seem big enough to comport so many kids. Luckily I found an empty seat in the first compartment but I was too excited to be seated quietly so I decided to check out the rest of the train. When I arrived to the last compartment I saw a familiar face with red hair and freckles: it was one of the Weasley boys. I was about to open the door to say hi when I noticed there was somebody else there. A dark haired boy with bright green eyes. He was laughing at something and a strand of hair fell into his eyes. When he pushed it away my heart stopped and I stayed there, motionless, with my hand on the doorknob.  
  
(_to be continued_)  
  
**A/N: Hi there! This is my first attempt to write a fic in english and I'm a bit nervous and anxious about it! Your opinion is really important to me so please click on the small box on your low left corner and leave a review! Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

The boy I had dream of all my life was right there, beyond that door and all I wanted was to say "Hello Harry" without making him think I was nothing more than a silly girl drooling over her hero. That's not how I felt for him! Deep inside I always knew he was something more than a scar on the forehead and I didn't want to meet Harry Potter, the most famous wizard of our times, I wanted to meet Harry, the boy... just Harry! I have no idea how long I stayed there, watching him. Time froze and I only woke up from my trance when a prefect passed by and asked me if I was alright. I muttered something about being in the wrong compartment and stormed out immediately, my cheeks burning and my heart beating as fast as a snitch' wings. Dear Merlin! I couldn't believe what I had just done! I had seen him and flew like a bloody coward! Later on, when the Sorting Ceremony began, I spotted him in the back of the line looking nervously around. I couldn't help but smile, I mean, for someone who had beaten one of the greatest evil sorcerers of all times, he seemed incredibly insecure and almost scared. I always had a feeling that Harry was not the typical hero since he probably didn't know how he had survived and nearly killed You-Know-Who. While I was waiting for my turn to be sorted, I was secretly praying to be putted in the same house as he, that way we could become friends or at least more acquainted. Needless to say we were not sort into the same house. The Sorting Hat put me in Hufflepuff (as I expected) and him in Gryffindor. I remember feeling sad, disappointed even angry... not with him of course, but with me, with my stupidity for living my entire life dreaming about the moment I'd finally meet him, for thinking I could get closer to him if we were sorted into the same house but especially for loving him immensely without any good reason, just based on my mum's tales and the books I read. It was like a cold shower snapping me back to reality and for the first time in my life I wished I'd never come to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  
  
****

****

**A/N: Here's the 2nd part of my story. A bit shorter than the previous one,  
but I promise the next part will be bigger.  
  
C. Night: I'm glad you feel curious about the main character who is a girl, by the way. As for your suggestions, when I started writing I thought about doing as you said: break the text into paragraphs. But then I realize this is about the inner thoughts of a person which means it won't have always a temporal order and that would make it a bit hard for me to insert paragraphs. As for the dialogues, there will be some later on. Don't forget the story is mostly about the reflections of the character and sometimes there isn't much room to put a real dialogue. Thank you for expressing your opinion, suggestions and critics are always welcome! :) Oh and thanks for the tip on the anonymous reviews!  
  
Silent Planet: Thank you so much! My biggest problem with writing in a  
foreign language is the vocabulary... thank God for dictionaries!**

**Lina Shay: Thanks! I'm working on it!**


	3. Chapter 3

I still don't know how I managed to survive that year. Being in the same school as Harry and not being able to talk to him and sometimes not even see him was an excruciating torture I had to get used to. Meals were pure hell, watching him eat silently, studying each one of his moves, seeing him chat with Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger. I could barely pay attention to anything but him. In D.A.D.A. class I could see the Gryffindor tower from my seat... I wonder how I didn't flunk! Why can't I get rid of this absurd feeling? Why do I have to fancy the damned Boy-Who-Lived when? Suddenly a female voice interrupts my thoughts.  
  
- Hey Susan! Over here!  
  
Hannah Abbott, my best friend. I met her when I was 8 years-old. In the beginning we were kind of friends of circumstance because her parents and mine were also friends, but as the time passed by we became really close. I reckon she was the only thing that made me go through the previous year. She was climbing down a hill and heading towards me, but she was not alone. Ernie McMillan was coming right behind her and I couldn't help but furrow  
my browns in disgust. Ernie is a massive arrogant git who thinks he's  
better than anyone else.  
  
- You shouldn't be walking alone in the grounds! – Hannah said to me with a tone of concern in her voice – God knows what the Heir of Slytherin might be up to!  
  
McMillan nodded his head pompously in agreement. I was starting to get  
slightly annoyed.  
  
- I don't see where the problem is – I answered – I mean, I'm a...  
  
- You don't see where the problem is?! Well, I'll tell you, you could've been  
attacked! Look what happened to Justin!  
  
I was cut off by McMillan's statement.  
  
- That doesn't seem to bother you since you go everywhere on your own.  
  
- Of course it doesn't bother me, I'm a pure blood! – he told me in a as-a-matter-of-fact tone.  
  
Now I was really annoyed.  
  
- In case you haven't noticed McMillan, I am a pure blood as well! I come from a family of 12 generations of wizards and witches and my blood is just as pure as yours! So will you kindly explain to me why would the Heir of Slytherin attack me?!- I asked angrily.  
  
He blushed furiously at my words. Hannah was looking unsurely at both of us, trying to calm us down.  
  
- Listen, there's no need to...  
  
- Fine! – he said hoarsely – Have it your way! But don't tell me I didn't warn you if Potter attacks you!  
  
That was enough to make me explode. Ernie had just touched my Achilles'  
heel: Harry.  
  
- HARRY'S NOT THE HEIR OF SLYTHERIN!!! – I yelled at him before I ran away.  
  
No, Harry couldn't possibly be the heir of Salazar Slytherin. Harry was  
good and kind, gentle and brave, gorgeous and truthful... Harry was like summer nights: warm and filled with stars. Harry's like fresh rain, like the soft wind that blows from the south, like the morning sun, like the winter storms, like the rainbow in the sky, like a sleepy blue ocean... Harry is everything and everything is Harry! Oh sweet Merlin I'm pathetic, I know I am but how can you see Harry and not love him?! How can you look into those beautiful emerald cores and not melt inside?! Even though all the evidence pointed at him, even though the whole school was against him, my heart kept telling me Harry was innocent. Mum used to say that our hearts always speak the true and I was sure mine wasn't lying...

****

**A/N: Hello there! Here's the 3rd chapter... it was suppose be bigger but I had to cut it in 2 parts** **otherwise you'd probably get a little lost in the plot. This fic is a bit confusing, I apologize for that. Thank you C. Night for the kind review, I hope you like this new chapter since one of your wishes was fulfilled: dialogues!!!**

**A/N: Just want to add that the sentence that says "sleepy blue ocean" isn't mine. I got it from a John Denver's song called "Annie's song".**

****


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey everybody! First I'd like to apologise for taking so long to update. Writing a fanfiction (especially in a foreign language) isn't nearly as easy as I thought it would be, but here is chapter 4. It was suppose to be longer but I had to cut it in two so I can work on some minor details. Second I'd like to thank to everyone that bothered reading my story and leaving a review. Your critics and suggestions are essential for me to improve my writing! Thank you so much! And finally enjoy the chapter! :)**

That was a dark, odd year. With Sirius Black on the loose and the Dementors wandering everywhere you could almost smell the fear and the tension in the atmosphere. Even the warm summer sunshine became cold as soon as the new came out. I was about to start my 3rd year and I have to admit I wasn't the slightest bit forward to it. Not that I didn't enjoy being at Hogwarts, on the contrary, I've always loved Hogwarts, but being there meant I had to see Harry daily. Although I was getting used to the fact that we would never be friends, let alone something more, it was still painful. Me, Hannah, Ernie and Justin met on the platform 9 ¾ thirty minutes before the train left so we could chose our compartment without rush. As soon as we sat on the train I closed my eyes and let my mind drifted to another world... my world. Later on three familiar voices brought me back to reality. I snapped my eyes open just in time to see the golden trio pass by and enter the compartment next to ours. A sigh of frustration escaped my mouth and I looked up at my three friends hoping they hadn't heard it. Ernie and Hannah were talking about their summer vacation and seemed oblivious to everything but themselves and Justin was... staring at me! He blushed scarlet like a little kid caught doing something wrong and turned his gaze to the Quidditch magazine he had been reading... upside down! For a couple of minutes I thought about what had just happen and wondered why Justin was acting so unlike himself but then I slipped back to my previous state of mind. I must have dozed off because when I opened my eyes again the weather and the landscape had change completely. I yawn softly and stretched my neck and then I noticed Justin was gazing at me again. This time he didn't break eye contact but smiled sweetly and winked. I was at such a lost I couldn't return the smile and turned to Hannah who was (still) chatting with Ernie. Before I could open my mouth to talk, all the lights were turned off and a strange mist surrounded the Hogwarts Express. A cold, unhappy feeling spread all over my body. I knew what that was: Dementors. But what were they doing in there? I tried to push happy memories towards my brain but it was useless. A male voice screamed in the darkness... a familiar male voice that wasn't Ernie's nor Justin's. Harry!!! That was enough to make me stand up and rush towards the corridor. Hannah made a weak attempt to stop me but failed. As soon as I reached the corridor a dark, rotten, cloaked figure passed me by and I leaned against the wall, trying to fight a strong wave of cold and sadness that was taking over me. I felt my knees gave in as I slipped slowly to the floor, unconscious. A million images flooded my mind: my dead relatives, my parents crying everytime a member of our family was murdered, Justin in the Hospital Wing petrified...

- Susan! Susan! Can you hear me?!

"Yes, can you please stop the yelling McMillan? My head hurts!" – I thought without making a move. Then I opened my eyes and managed to sit up. My vision was a little blurry and my body was still shaking slightly.

- I'm ok – I whispered hoarsely – Honestly!

- You are certainly not ok! What the hell were you thinking, walking on the corridor with a Dementor inside the train?! You could've died!!! – Hannah shrieked in a mixture of angriness and weary – If Justin hadn't found you...

I put my hand on her mouth in order to silence her.

- Enough! My head is aching terribly. You're right; I shouldn't have left the compartment. I don't know what came into me... - I said blushing pink.

I glanced at Justin who was sitting next to the window and looked paler than the Bloody Baron. He was eyeing me closely with a serious expression on his face and I could tell he was in utter shock. I stood up and sat beside him, taking his hand hesitantly.

- Thank you – I whispered, looking at him in the eyes.

He just gave my hand a squeeze and smiled. And this time I smiled back.


End file.
